So last night, the company I work with held its Christmas supper. Kind of sad to think a few missed it, it turned into quite a show, and we sure had a lot of fun.
At this time of year, many companies hold their Christmas parties in restaurents such as the one we were invited to last night. As such, there are volunteers who go around to remind them to use the services of the 'Red Nose Operation' if they drink too much.
Red Nose is a service which has been offered throughout december for the last decade or so. It's a free service that you call and two volunteers will drive you back home, one driving your own car, the other following in another car to pick up his fellow volunteer to help more people that way. Last night, volunteers from the Operation toured through the different places where business parties were being held to hand out business cards with the number to call, reminding people of the service they offered.
I don't think they were quite prepared to meet with our crew. They wear those reindeer hats, so they're easy to spot, as we we saw them come in, a few of us went "let's have some fun here."
So our ever intrepid Stephan did his little act when they finally reached our tables. He just stood up, and acted like he was completely plastered (he doesn't drink) and went to the volunteer walking by us.
"I...I.. I don't... remember calling... calling for you." He said as he kept pretending he was about to fall and grabbing anything he could to stay up. I must admit, he could win an Oscar in the 'acting like you're drunk' category. We really had to bite our lips not to laugh like crazy.
"Sir, I think you are specifically the type of person we wish to reach tonight." The volunteer went.
"Reach me? Well... I can ... could give you my phone... my phone number..."
"I think you need ours more than we need yours."
"Even... even if you tell me the number... my Memory... my memory... it goes when I am drunk."
"We have business cards. Here, have one and call us later."
"Call... call you? I... I punch the wrong, you know... wrong dials when I ... when I drink."
That volunteer, I must admit, is doing an amazing job remaining calm and trying to convince Stephan to take a business card to call up Red Nose later. That conversation went on for a couple more minutes, until Stephan's wife joined in, acting like she was just as drunk as he was pretending to be (she doesn't drink either).
"Are you... Are you harrassing.. my husband?"
"Pardon Madam?" The volunteer asked.
"Dat's me husband... What... what you want with him?"
"Nothing... We're just here to offer our services..."
The volunteer seemed a little less comfortable now.
Then, I just addressed the coworkers at my table.
"Oh man, I just know how to put the icing on that cake!"
Jeff just looked me straight in the eyes when I said that.
"Don't do it Frank!" He ordered me.
"Do what? You don't know what I have in mind."
"I have a pretty damn good idea..."
"We'll see if you're right."
"Frank.. please..."
So I stood up and walked towards Stephan and his wife, and the volunteer, overhearing Jeff telling his wife 'we are so getting kicked out of here.'
So I walk towards them imagine how I was acting?
"Hey you... the guy with.. that funny hat" I told the volunteer, "You... you don't have to worry. They... these two... they don't drive tonight, ok? I am... I'm.. I'm they designed, no... uh... ded..dedicated.. no... uh... what is that word?"
"Designated?" The volunteer asked.
"Yeah! I'm... I am their Dez-Ignated.. driver. So no... no worries... k?"
"You're the designated driver?!?" he shooted out, with a look on his face I wish someone would have caught on film.
But it came to an end there, with all the coworkers looking on and bursting out in laughter.
"You're a good sport, and thanks for the offer, but do you see any alcohol on our tables?"
"Well no, actually..."
"We drive for a living, we can't afford to lose our driver's licenses, and we all know there are major police operations all over the city to catch people who drink and drive tonight" I explained to the volunteer. "But as you can see... we're a bit of a crazy bunch."
At this time of year, many companies hold their Christmas parties in restaurents such as the one we were invited to last night. As such, there are volunteers who go around to remind them to use the services of the 'Red Nose Operation' if they drink too much.
Red Nose is a service which has been offered throughout december for the last decade or so. It's a free service that you call and two volunteers will drive you back home, one driving your own car, the other following in another car to pick up his fellow volunteer to help more people that way. Last night, volunteers from the Operation toured through the different places where business parties were being held to hand out business cards with the number to call, reminding people of the service they offered.
I don't think they were quite prepared to meet with our crew. They wear those reindeer hats, so they're easy to spot, as we we saw them come in, a few of us went "let's have some fun here."
So our ever intrepid Stephan did his little act when they finally reached our tables. He just stood up, and acted like he was completely plastered (he doesn't drink) and went to the volunteer walking by us.
"I...I.. I don't... remember calling... calling for you." He said as he kept pretending he was about to fall and grabbing anything he could to stay up. I must admit, he could win an Oscar in the 'acting like you're drunk' category. We really had to bite our lips not to laugh like crazy.
"Sir, I think you are specifically the type of person we wish to reach tonight." The volunteer went.
"Reach me? Well... I can ... could give you my phone... my phone number..."
"I think you need ours more than we need yours."
"Even... even if you tell me the number... my Memory... my memory... it goes when I am drunk."
"We have business cards. Here, have one and call us later."
"Call... call you? I... I punch the wrong, you know... wrong dials when I ... when I drink."
That volunteer, I must admit, is doing an amazing job remaining calm and trying to convince Stephan to take a business card to call up Red Nose later. That conversation went on for a couple more minutes, until Stephan's wife joined in, acting like she was just as drunk as he was pretending to be (she doesn't drink either).
"Are you... Are you harrassing.. my husband?"
"Pardon Madam?" The volunteer asked.
"Dat's me husband... What... what you want with him?"
"Nothing... We're just here to offer our services..."
The volunteer seemed a little less comfortable now.
Then, I just addressed the coworkers at my table.
"Oh man, I just know how to put the icing on that cake!"
Jeff just looked me straight in the eyes when I said that.
"Don't do it Frank!" He ordered me.
"Do what? You don't know what I have in mind."
"I have a pretty damn good idea..."
"We'll see if you're right."
"Frank.. please..."
So I stood up and walked towards Stephan and his wife, and the volunteer, overhearing Jeff telling his wife 'we are so getting kicked out of here.'
So I walk towards them imagine how I was acting?
"Hey you... the guy with.. that funny hat" I told the volunteer, "You... you don't have to worry. They... these two... they don't drive tonight, ok? I am... I'm.. I'm they designed, no... uh... ded..dedicated.. no... uh... what is that word?"
"Designated?" The volunteer asked.
"Yeah! I'm... I am their Dez-Ignated.. driver. So no... no worries... k?"
"You're the designated driver?!?" he shooted out, with a look on his face I wish someone would have caught on film.
But it came to an end there, with all the coworkers looking on and bursting out in laughter.
"You're a good sport, and thanks for the offer, but do you see any alcohol on our tables?"
"Well no, actually..."
"We drive for a living, we can't afford to lose our driver's licenses, and we all know there are major police operations all over the city to catch people who drink and drive tonight" I explained to the volunteer. "But as you can see... we're a bit of a crazy bunch."
